And Just Like That…I’m out.

The Sex and the City spin off had some good potential following season two, but this latest series is beyond bad.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

I’m the guy who was firmly still pursuing the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That. I’m the guy – or gay – who STILL cared deeply for Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte (and even spent an unnerving amount of time considering what Samantha Jones might be doing in London). I was the guy who wanted to know where their lives were now in their fifties, how they were doing, and I even embraced the new characters and storylines.

I even managed to park the utter blancmange that was Sex and the City 2. Genuinely parked it in a locked box at the back of my brain. Doesn’t exist.

So you get me, I was genuinely IN. Firmly. I loved the fact Big was killed off, I loved Miranda’s new lesbianism, I enjoyed Charlotte trying to get to grips with her daughter becoming Rock and was enjoying seeing Anthony’s character develop into a ‘proper’ arc. I was fighting hard to accept new characters and plotlines too – Che, LTW, Seema…the lot.

But what had promising beginnings, appears to have all gone badly south in season three…

The season where the HBO Max/Sky Atlantic Teams appear to have gone nuclear with the PR machine and the promotion. Poooooof, it’s like they realised it was going to need some serious PR help.

We’ve had Cynthia Nixon teasing about a “huge cliff hanger” at the end of the season, the big “summer in the city” campaign, Kristin Davis launching her podcast to help push things along and what appears to be endless wardrobe updates on social media. Hell, even SJP herself has appeared on a slew of podcast as a guest this time round. Unheard of.

It is within the sphere of styling and clothing that I would like to start this opus.

The clothes fucking suck this season.

Nothing is believable, nothing is making me “ooooh” and I’m sick of everybody looking so pristine. What bothers me most regarding the wardrobe choices on this third season is nothing is believable. Nothing is relevant. Everything feels ridiculously contrived. Zero realness.

The joy of the old series was the fact the clothing enhanced storylines we all adored but the drama always came first. The clothes added to the mix. But never took away from the narrative. The main issue I have with the wardrobe this time round is they’re absolutely bonkers and, dare I say it, potentially trying to disguise the fact the storylines are utter shite.

Like, would Carrie really still be fannying around with Aidan like this at her age. I don’t buy it. Do we give a shit that he’s still in the show, not really. Why can’t Carrie just get her house furnished and stop dicking around. Do we care enough for a main storyline with Seema‘s love life, not really. Since when did Miranda become this wet? Where TF has Steve gone? Why can’t Charlotte just calm down for a second? Is LTW ever going to wear sweats or something other than a runway outfit? Carrie going to the countryside again and not even squealing in her trademark high-pitched tone at one squirrel. YAWN.

There’s so much of this latest season of AJLT that feels contrived and bullshit. And btw – before everyone chips in - it’s not about being woke. The last season really felt like it settled in with some good ideas. It’s just a show that is reflecting where 2025 life is. But why is it all so daft this time round?

When those four girls were at the height of the Sex and the City notoriety we cared about them immensely. Like friends. We wanted them to succeed, we want Carrie to get her happy ending (not like that, ya dirty buggers), we prayed Samantha would get through her cancer diagnosis and we even travelled to New York hoping to catch a glimpse of the stars in real life (or at least sat on the stoop of Carrie’s house despite to chain across the doorway). Right now, I don’t care for any of the girls in the show. Genuinely don’t. I just feel like this show’s become an embarrassment for the actors playing them. Where does the problem lie? Well, with the writers and the producers. They’ve run out of steam. In fact, it feels like the show runners are taking the piss out of them with the storylines. Maybe they just think people want to see the clothes and that they can let the scripts slip away into the wilderness. But the reality is we can all remember so many epic storylines from the original offering of the show. The SATC episodes were iconic in every way.

I’ve watched the four episodes of the new season and can hardly remember one funny one-liner. Or what went on. It’s cliché’d crap.

It’s literally got to the point in my head where I want to start writing a new script. I started mapping out plans for the characters. I have ideas of how to move things forward and keep things fresh. Maybe the writers and the producers are just too in their own heads and think they know best. But genuinely, surely none of the cast can be happy with this show in its current form. It’s either time to can it OR bring in new staff.

And for God’s sake, switch up the wardrobe team. Or at least give them a Xannie before their shift.