Oops, I’m Sober: The Surprising Power of Accidental Sobriety

I didn’t mean to. It just happened. But what can it all mean? And will it last? Who knows. Let's discuss.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Like so many things in life, when you put pressure on yourself and are riddled with anxiety good intentions tend to be a real chore. When you take a breath and relax, things happen with ease. And that, dear reader, is exactly what has happened here.

I’ve fallen into an accidental sobriety moment that has been easy and joyous and, to be frank, has made question whether I ought to just carry on. I’m really enjoying it.

You know, the clear head. The focused brain. The great gym training. The positivity. The get-up-and-go, the forward planning with ease. The “nothing’s too much for me to handle attitude”. The general brilliance of one’s life. I could go on. It’s been rather fabulous.

I didn’t set a new year’s resolution. I’m not a dry January toss pot. I just didn’t drink after New Year’s Eve and thought – I’ll have a few days off. From then I’ve just not wanted a drink and bizarrely I’ve not missed it.

Numerous friends have been discussing their alcohol consumption of late and more than a dozen have said to me that unlike other years they’ve actually had this unusually calm sober start to the year. But why? Nothing’s changed. I guess I’ve gotten older and maybe that’s been an element. Though I’ve not been searching for sobriety in a big way or dealing with social pressure to go to a million events. Maybe I’m just calm at the minute.

That lead me to look at all the things I’ve been doing this month. Without too much heavy thought I have been making small adjustments to help my general mindset subliminally alter. I put a home gym into the downstairs of my higgledy piggledy flat. It was a dumping ground and needed to be nurtured into something positive. I bought nice new equipment (all the kettlebells a gay could ever need). I’ve been actively looking at nutritional products that can help keep my health on track. I’ve been having Willpowders bone broth protein shakes after my work outs and I’ve been using this new product called Night Powder before bed by Ainslie & Ainslie (Georgie and Ben Ainslie’s new company) which says it’s looking after the athlete inside me. Aiding great sleep, recovery and positive vibes – it’s delicious and contains cherries. I love me some cherries.

I genuinely think these two products have both put some pep in my step.

Then on top of work outs, nice long park walks and eating as clean as possible, I’ve been experimenting with an online kundalini yoga course run by Trish Whelan for her company Soul Adventures. 50-or-so of us meet up daily to take part in a 21-Day course on zoom with Trish. To be frank, I didn’t know what kundalini yoga was a few months ago but I’ve been working on the PR for Trish for two months now and genuinely wanted to know how it all worked.

Truth be told, I went in expecting nothing. It had the potential to possibly be a bit ‘woo woo’ for me, I thought. The reality is kundalini – which is yoga-style moves but all about the breath from what I can tell with my limited experience – is the real deal. I’ve long believed in breathwork and have done all sorts of sessions across the past few years. But what Trish does feels so special. It’s like she peels back the onion of your anxiety, emotions and troubles and then blows it out of you. Shakes it out of you. I can’t explain it. All I know is, I’ve not felt this upbeat, positive and full of beans for fucking years. I’ve actually had what most would deem a fairly tricky start to the year both professionally and personally. There’s been a lot going on. But I’m just letting these shitty waves wash over me and they can’t knock me down. Be gone with your neggy vibes, I’ve been saying. I’m not letting any negativity in. In fact, I feel like my aura has been cleansed. Whatever Trish and Soul Adventures have been doing in these hour-long sessions I’m genuinely here for it.

Check out the Soul Adventures Retreats in 2025 HERE.

Anyway, back to the booze. This week I went to the launch of my friend Millie Mackintosh’s Bad Drunk book. I love Millie – she’s been through a lot recently but across the last couple of years she’s really found her groove and seems in such a good place. Her book Bad Drunk came about because she went sober and realised all she’d learnt in her endeavours could really help others. And it’s inspired me a lot.

The launch was perfectly curated to my current mood and pace of life. It was bright and early and we celebrated with a fantastic breathwork session in Marble Arch’s magical art experience space, Frameless. There was coffee, catch ups, nice people, a lovely goodie bag full of Trip CBD goodies and I pootled home afterwards on cloud nine.

On the way home and after seeing Millie doing so well, I considered whether or not I was a bad drunk? You know, was I the person people want to leave the party and go home because you’re babysitting them all the time. Or am I the one who just doesn’t know when to stop the party. Or am I the person who is filled with so much dread after a night of boozing they are an anxious mess? Nope. I’ve just never been any of those drunks. I mean, we all have our moments - but in general people LOVE drunk Dean. He’s just the right amount of naughty, pretty much always knows when to go to bed and understands what goes up must come down when it comes to the rank hangovers and the day after. I get drinking. But I also don’t need it. I would HATE being drunk all the time to be my reputation across my social circle.

This past month has also been awesome in many ways as, unlike previous years, I’ve not fretted about continuing to have a social life. Have I been reprogrammed? It’s so strange. This weekend I’ve got a friend’s 50^th on Saturday and then a 40^th on Sunday. I’ve driving to both. I’m not anxious about it. Fuck, I’d go as far as saying I’m excited to go to both. No stress.

Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m growing up. Maybe it’s contentment. Maybe it’s Trish. Maybe it’s a shift in the planets. Who knows and frankly who the fuck cares. Whatever is going on right now I’m here for it 100%.

I’m going to go with that current and those waves and see where they take me. And wherever that is, I’m cool with it. Nothing is going to phase this unusually spunky ball of positive energy right now.

Leave me some bloody floozy newsy on the comment bar below!

Until next time, y’all.

P.S. There’s also no stress in any way about falling off the wagon. I just feel great. Whatever happens - life goes on.

P.P.S. Want to explore your sobriety but needing the support of a rather cool group that could show you how to continue a social life but in a sober way? Then do check out Sober & Social run by my friend Emily Syphas. They regularly meet up and their social media is excellent for facts, tips and general vibes. After all, community is power.