Seriously, do they think we are all millionaires?

It costs a lot to run our lives in 2025. But it feels like if you want to live the Life of Riley it’s going to cost you right now.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Firstly, let’s start with a disclaimer. I’m never all that worried when it comes to money. I’m a very lucky man.

My businesses are doing alright. I don’t have children. And I tend to like the finer things in life. Well, I live a life of luxury in many ways. If I want something I can usually just get it. If a friend flinches when I pick up the Saint Laurent boots I politely clap back: “You chose children, I chose shoes.”

Look, I won’t really flinch at the overpriced salad. I don’t put an item down if it’s obscenely priced. I will order the £16 protein-packed smoothie if I fancy it. I almost want it more if it’s really expensive as it simply must be good.

With all this in mind, EVEN I have gotten to a point lately where I’m questioning the cost of enjoying life. Maybe it’s after a few weeks of alarming prices whacking me in the face on a daily basis.

I’ll start with my recent two months in Ibiza. In one utterly divine beach restaurant I was charged €240 for a seabass for two people. A €30 fish at the local market was baked in salt to perfection and the bill provided revealed a €210 mark up. I mean, was this fish part of the Ocean’s Royal Family? Surely not. It’s swimming around in the polluted oceans like all the other fish. Simply full of plastic particles.

In fact, following this scenario I completely changed my birthday lunch plans and found a low-key beach restaurant where the fish weren’t seemingly gold plated on the bill. I wanted to treat 10 friends to lunch for my birthday and the total bill at this laidback chiringuito was €900 with tip included. Food, starters, endless drinks – joyous. That’s more like it.

But it wasn’t just this stonking fish bill that got me thinking about Ibiza. Smoothies or a pressed juice are about €15 at most swanky health cafes. I was charged €18 for a very small bottle of water in a nightclub. Even the barmaid apologized for the price for such a small amount of water. Worth noting a beer in a bottle was €5 less. The same club is charging €80 for chicken tenders in their food hall. This price immediately became a meme online.

Salads are easily €30 upwards and when you break down the ingredients there’s very little high-end expensive produce within. In fact, some are very basic indeed. All starters in nice restaurants in Ibiza are generally over €25.

It’s got me thinking so much about the cost of living – especially regarding Ibiza but back here in the UK too. If you want to live the high life, it’s going to cost you. I literally have no idea how the late teens and early twenties Ibiza rabble are able to afford their trips to the island anymore. The poor kids must be saving up all year round to be able to afford the trip.

Clubs are up to €100 a ticket now to see some of the world’s top DJs. Before you even have a drink or a parrrrrrttttaaaay.

With Ibiza especially, you’ve probably seen a lot of press about staff and locals on the island being pushed aside due to the price and no rentals being available (probably due to AirBNB etc). Some islanders are even living in makeshift shanty towns and caravans to make their seasonal time on the island work. I’m very lucky to be able to afford to rent a place all year round from a friend. I could never afford to buy on the island. Well, not right now.

There have been huge demonstrations across the Balearics and the coasts of southern Spain regarding the living situation for locals. They’re saying it’s all our fault as tourists going to the islands. We have pushed them out and made life difficult for them. I have to say, I don’t really agree with that. With an island like Ibiza, I fear the main problem is just how corrupt the island is. It’s all about money and head honchos overcharging the tourists for the visit. The amount the clubs and fancy pants restaurants must be making (with their €240 seabass options) is ludicrous. I’d love to know much of the crazy amount of money we spend goes back into the council and filters down to the local people.

The other thing you need to consider is the island and all their workers rely on tourists visiting to ensure they make a packet throughout the summer months. Without us paying how would they prosper? Who would buy that overpriced fishy? It’s a crazy Catch-22 scenario. You can’t win without us and I guess you can’t win with us.

Anyway, back to London and the countryside. I’m spending some time in the Cotswolds re-acclimatising to life in the UK before returning to my flat in south west London. It’s been perfect. But even in the local village shop it’s £4.80 for a latte (I love a ‘posh’ coffee, don’t @ me) and I spent £23 on a Chopped Salad which was served in a dish smaller than a soup bowl for my lunch. I guess the only good thing with this is portion control. Silver linings.

I also have to be in London for a few days soon and thought I’d check in on Soho House like I always used too. I’ve stayed at so many locations over the years and genuinely love my time there. But I couldn’t find one room less than £470 a night across ALL London sites. A mere few years ago I’d be able to slip into White City or High Road for £200 a night. And that’s – just about – manageable.

The way cash has been flying out of my bank account lately has really got me thinking about families with the pressures of two (or more) children and those that aren’t in huge income households. Having kids costs a fortune. How on earth would a family be able to eat out and have a nice time without being a borderline millionaire? It feels to me like UK venues right now are at the point where produce, land rent and staffing costs are so high they have no choice but to hike up the pricing. Otherwise, they’d close…

I know I’ve spoken about it before. But with my regular visits to Greece each summer I’ve really wanted to check a number of things. Firstly, as few British tourists as possible. Secondly, I don’t want to bump into anyone I know. When I was a journalist for years I could literally go to the other side of the world and bump into a friend. It happened time and time again. My summer holiday is about two things. Being with my mum for a nice stretch of time, reading books and being able to eat out pretty much every night without worrying about pennies.

Where we go in Greece right now, I’m thrilled to report we can eat out for two with two courses and wine for the grand total of €50. I mean, that’s what I’m talking about, eh.

Not only that, but it also feels like with some of the smaller Greek Islands I’ve visited you’re able to properly turn back the clock. The days are slow. You feel like you’ve been away for a lifetime. And the mind is rested. This is, of course, unlike Mykonos – which I visited five or so years ago - where at the chi chi restaurants we frequented were easily €300 per head for lunch. Lunches where you’d often leave saying “how was it that amount when I didn’t even have more than two glasses of wine and I’m still hungry”.

Giving the island credit, we didn’t eat at one bad restaurant, and it was joyous from start to finish. But being in Mykonos for my wallet to be pillaged daily just isn’t something I desire these days.

Maybe one day I’ll become rich and be able to eat wherever I want and won’t have to think about it. But for now, I’m avoiding the €240 seabass dishes for two.

How you feeling about the cost of living? Tell me more, tell me more!