My lifelong love affair with Cabaret (after seeing Cara Delevingne as Sally Bowles this week)

Some plays or musicals stick like glue to your soul – and that’s what Cabaret did way back when I was a schoolboy. Here’s our love story.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Some of you might FINALLY understand why I start each one of my newsletters with the above line! It’s all because of Cabaret and the opening number - recited by the Emcee.

Here’s this week’s piece. ENJOY!

I had four words to remember. “Schatzi, where are you?” I screeched in the second act of our Whitton School production of Cabaret. Just the one line for me to remember. Easy Peasy. I had no idea this moment on stage in our school production would stay with me for life.

The Schatzi in question was my great friend Luci Chia who was playing the lady of the night Fraulein Kost. Luci was 15 years old and playing a prostitute whose primary role was to ‘service’ the sailors and Nazis (and anybody else who needed servicing) that came into town and frequented the Kit Kat Club. Kost runs her ‘business’ out of Fraulein Schneider’s house and it was an ongoing joke about her ‘visiting cousins’ paying numerous visits through the night.

I was the first sailor (out of three). I got to peck Schatzi on the cheek, the next sailor got a kiss on the lips and the third sailor got a full PASH. Potentially, with tongues. I played a Nazi in the chorus too. Award-worthy roles from day one, y’all.

Reminiscing about my school musical production of Cabaret I’m stumped as to how we managed to pull off this play. It was wildly inappropriate on so many levels. There would probably be outrage these days if a school decided to go with Cabaret as the school production. But led by Miss Gator our drama tutor, we were thrilled to be tight roping our way through controversy and gasps from the audience to put on this incredible musical. And the fact she had the balls to pull it off remains something I’m extremely pleased about to this very day.

The roots of this musical – the brainchild of playwright Joe Masteroff with music by Joe Kander and lyrics by Fred Ebb - run deep in all of us from school who were part of the show. The feeling of delivering three (or maybe four) of these shows back in 1995 still runs through our veins.

We did a great job. We left very little out. There were Nazis, abortions, prairie oysters, sexy dancing and questionable lyrics throughout. Mr Belk the sports teacher was the gorilla in If You Could See Her. Fraulein Schneider worked in the school office. And the Emcee was the exceptionally talented Year 11 school boy Matthew Blacklock. The Kit Kat girls were dressed in French Knickers. I mean, what the actual fuck.

But after school ended and we all went out to explore the world the lasting impression of that musical remained rock solid. So much so that it’s been a part of my life on so many levels ever since.

I’ve been to New York to see it with Michelle Williams (above) in the lead role alongside Alan Cumming (below) in the theatre within the old site of the original Studio 54 nightclub. That was a vibe. I’ve seen Will Young in London as the Emcee. And Alan in London for a second time. I’ve been a fan of the covers of Maybe This Time and Cabaret by numerous stars including Spice Girl Melanie C.

Then with this latest production in London I was there from the beginning – with my besties Luci (Schatzi, herself) and Miranda from Whitton School by my side – to see Eddie Redmayne and Jessie Buckley start the highly acclaimed new London production of the show. It’s dark. It’s furious. It’s creepy. It’s the best. It’s obviously even more twisted than the Whitton School version but the lines are mostly the same, even some of the choreography is similar. It feeds my soul each time I see it.

Hosted in the ‘Kit Kat Club’ at the Playhouse Theatre, this production has really laid roots with ‘star’ names taking the lead roles to ensure it remains the hottest ticket in town. People arrive super early, and you’re treated to an immersive moment featuring members of the chorus playing instruments, dancing suggestively and generally helping you get in the mood. You’re offered schnapps on the door for free as you enter the corridor to the theatre itself.

My last visit to the Kit Kat Club was to see Jake Shears – the lead singer of the Scissor Sisters – and Self Esteem perform in the lead roles. Jake was a revelation. I loved his Emcee. Lovely and deranged. Twisted, but not too much. There’s no doubt Self Esteem had strong vocals, but her Sally Bowles lacked that smidge of vulnerability needed. Just a little bolshy for my liking.

Then this week I visited with two of my other besties – Poppy and Chloe Delevingne – to see their younger sister Cara in the role of Sally.

Now, it’s safe to say I was nervous. There’s something about seeing somebody you know in a lead role on the West End that fills you with dread. You want them to be exceptional. You need them to bring something new to the table. It’s the pits when you have a friend on the West End and you feel nothing and then suffer the ridiculously embarrassing encounter afterwards across drinks where you have to lie about how great they are. I find it very hard to lie – my eyes give away the truth every time.

There was no doubt, I knew Cara was going to bring her uniqueness to the role but nothing prepared me for her rendition of Cabaret. In the past, Maybe This Time has been “the moment” which tugs on the heartstrings and gets the tears flowing. It always gets me. But when the spotlight beamed down upon Cara’s head, and she began her version of the lead song I was blown away.

Firstly, the tears flowed. Not in a sad way. Not in a personal proud friend way. In a way where the room just stopped and emotion took over. Uncontrollably taking over your soul. Nothing else in the room was important and time felt as if it was standing still.

Cara was typically kooky, twisted, furious and full of venom. It was a Sally Bowles I hadn’t expected to see, but it made perfect sense. It’s the most unique portrayal of this role made famous by Liza Minnelli that I’ve ever seen.

There was a collective pause when she disappeared into a backlit hole in the bottom of the stage after that number. We all appeared to take a collective deep lug of air because we must have been holding our breath for the final moments.

What Cara’s extraordinary performance highlights for me is the life left in this show and the story. Each new face taking one of the lead roles brings their ‘star power’ for ticket sales, but more than that they’re given a unique opportunity to breathe new life into this show. A musical which, let’s face it, has more than a little bit in common with where life is right now in 2024 with so much hatred and antisemitism.

So, in short, thanks Cara for a delicious new unforgettable take on my favourite musical ever. I say favourite, its level pegged with Grease 2, obviously. I don’t want you to think I’m getting all serious at my old age. Zinnoni forevs.

Until Wednesday, Kids.

Check out the trailer for Cara’s Cabaret below…and make sure you get your tickets before her run ends.

And finally please enjoy this EPIC performance by the GOAT of Sally Bowles, Dear Liza.