When, in this crazy (and short) ride called life, is it time for a proper adventure?
The rat race is great fun – but at some point, should we step out? Here’s a brain dump of a man in search of a slower life and some sort of adventure.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
I’m white, privileged and in the fortunate position of having my health on my side. Work is going great guns too. But I have an itch. An itch for a proper adventure. I feel the need to mix things up and go somewhere different. Take a u-turn on life.
Now, looking at me on paper I must sound like I have a pretty good time – and I do! For the past three years I’ve split my time between London and Ibiza. I rent a little place all year round on the Balearic Island and I’m very fortunate to be able to literally pick up my life in Hampton Hill and plonk it down in Ibiza Old Town for part of the year. I’m even more productive in Ibiza. The party island is perfect as you get into your forties - you can delve into the beaches of the north with a book and ignore the nightlife very easily.
You see, when I’m on the island people can’t get to me easily. I don’t have to do so many work breakfasts, lunches and dinners and I’m not at the beck and call of a large friendship group all the time – which I am in London. I have more time to work. More time to enjoy peace and quiet. Generally, my life away from London is far better. Returning from Ibiza last week I genuinely felt like I could have stayed and never returned which is something I’ve not had before now after my trips.
There’s less anger on the streets there, far fewer people and it’s a far better way of life than in the UK. If we were actually able to stay (thank you, Brexit) I actually wouldn’t be in London.
Although I’ve been able to find a fabulous lifestyle with my Ibizan escape pad, I’m itching for something more. Some sort of great escape and adventure that opens my eyes to the rest of the world. It needs to be bigger.
Admittedly, part of this has been brought on by getting home this week and catching up on Race Across the World on iPlayer which is genuinely the best thing I’ve seen in many years on television. When you break down the show it’s essentially about human behaviour and interaction in its simplest form.
Last week I turned 44. Now, 44 feels a lot older than 43. On every level. I’m not freaking out about my age like when I turned 40 and was forced to celebrate my big birthday during lockdown. I was deranged in the run up to that. This time around it’s more like quietly in the background I know I’m starting to get older and that time is starting to whizz by. Maybe it’s with everything that’s going on in my life and the amount I do. Maybe it’s just a mid-forties thing. But I didn’t travel much and I didn’t go to University - I just got out there and got a job. I hated the idea of University causing years worth of debt.
I’m single. Not really mingling and actually unbothered by the prospect of being on my own (despite the continual comments from friends about my singledom). It’s remarkable how some people genuinely can’t get their head around somebody being content in their forties at being single. I am though. I love my life at the minute. I’ve got my shit in check, I’m earning good money and I’m hopefully making a good future for myself.
Sure, I’m thinking at some point it would be nice to meet somebody and share my life with them. I thought I’d found it, but it sadly didn’t work out in the end.
So, what does the future hold? Well, there’s so much of the world I have yet to see. I’ve not done much of Asia, I’ve never visited Australia, I’ve not ventured into Africa, South America hasn’t been touched (despite my love of the musical Evita ;-))
It feels like there’s a huge world out there for me to explore and the clock is ticking for what to do next. The biggest blocker is the fact I’m running not one but two businesses. It’s a lot. There’s always something more I could be doing when it comes to work now. I spent my Sunday working to get ahead of the week. I do this a lot. Otherwise, the week takes control and I’m quickly overwhelmed come Thursday – especially if I have events to run or attend during the week.
Watching Race Across the World really hit me hard. I suddenly thought, what if something happened. I had an accident, got sick or, God forbid, I died somehow. Would I be dying with regrets? Maybe. It suddenly feels like we are here on Planet Earth for such a short time, and we need to make the most of it around every corner.
I went to Thailand a few years ago with some friends. We were staying in a luxury villa on Koh Samui right on a private beach. It was the best trip. We were out larging it at Ping Pong bars during the night and genuinely had the best time as a big group. But I wanted to ensure I got the authentic experience too and decided to book private yoga lessons and a bit of meditation thrown in for good measure. My instructor was called Sanya and one morning (I booked him each day) he said we’d do a meditation where he guided me through it.
I sat there listening to the waves crashing and the cool Thai breeze as he explained the simplicity of his life. He had a wife and a young baby. They lived in a hut just nearby. They didn’t have electricity, gas, clean running water, heating, home comforts…nothing. He said his hut was pretty much 8 feet by 6 feet with a curtain as a door.
As I quietly breathed and fell into a meditative state, he explained that despite all the things he didn’t have he’d never been happier and content. He couldn’t think of one thing that would make his life better. He just got up happy and smiled each and every day. The only thing important to him was the health of his family and the happiness he felt in his soul each and every day.
When our class was over, I shuffled away and went to my room. Sanya looked at me with caution as I made a sharpish exit. Within seconds I was walking quicker to the room – mainly because I could feel the emotion rising from within. The way Sanya had explained his magical simple life and how happy he was hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was so profound it had me shook. This guy was living the calmest, slowest amazing life I’d ever heard of. He’s completed life as far as I was concerned. I cried like a baby after that meditation - a wondrous release. Sanya knew it had hit me hard when me met the following day. Even thinking about that day nearly brings me to tears.
The feeling I had then, I can feel now as I watch this show as I look out the window at the shittiest of English summers.
Look, so much of what we do is at a million miles an hour, isn’t it? The way we consume information and news right now surely cannot be good for us. As humans, we must be heading to a hellish future with social media and our lifestyles working the way they do now.
Also, we have become a ridiculously lazy world. We don’t walk; we scoot. We don’t go out for dinner; we order in. We don’t write; we type. We don’t exercise to lose weight; we inject or get it sucked out. The list is endless. Everything we do in our day-to-day life is making us exceedingly lazier.
I don’t want to speed up life. I don’t want to be lazy. I want things to slow down and I really don’t want to do this when I’m 65 and retired (hopefully). I want to be full of energy without ailments and able to make the most of every experience I choose too. After all, we can change the narrative, can’t we? We are in control.
Sure, it’s going to be baby steps planning an adventure and deciding where I want to go and what I want to do. But I know I need to do something to mix up this little ride called life. Let’s see what happens across the next few months.
Have you had an adventure recently or do you relate to this post? I’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment below…
Until next week, Kids.
I really hope you get to realize this feeling of slowness, of anchoring yourself in the present and feeling the stillness within. After a youth spent travelling all over, I still have this itch to walk aimlessly all day and just look at the world.
Totally with you. Especially as you and I have both experienced loss and I know my person did have regrets in that hospice bed. Plus, being alone? It’s a luxury, if anything…. Take it from me 😉
For me it’s proper tented Safari with the kids on the bucket list.
Having spent a year in the 90’s in Central America, I will forever love Mexico, Guatemala and Cuba. But off the beaten track. Not Tulum. The train to the Copper Canyon is extraordinary. The ruins of Tikal in Guatemala at sunrise.
The Statue of Christ and the favelas in Rio are unforgettable. In fact, dammit, we need a lunch to discuss. Hehehe. Any excuse….